I once called the insurance phone number to ask a question. An hour later, the woman had shared her whole life story with me and I am not sure she ever answered my question, but I made her feel better. What is an empath anyway and did I just make that up? There are probably thousands of stories like this for me, but I want you to think about times you have interacted with someone and felt all the same feelings they have…or perhaps they have told you things you just didn’t really need to know.
My entire life, I have felt different. I think I have tried really hard to keep a lid on it all until the last 5 years. Derived from the Greek “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling), the term empathic means I am able to “feel into” others’ feelings. At first, I thought I was just using my computer skills to really know what to post on my fan page for the blog. I always seemed to post just the right quote for my real-life friends, and my page continued to grow that way.
After a while, people began to really identify with my story, and came to me for answers. I continued to grow my client list in my all-natural supplement business Vitalize You because I could get to the root of what the client needed. I learned that I felt what my client was saying to me and within a few short conversations, seriously knew what they needed to do whether it was on the phone or through messaging. I could pick up on vibrations.
1. Please take what we say seriously. If you ask us for advice, even if it sounds crazy, there is some truth in it. We just know things and it bothers the heck out of us when you ask us for advice and don’t listen. Sometimes things makes sense to us long before they make sense to you…and that includes “coincidences” that aren’t really a coincidence at all.
2. Lies have no place in any conversation with us ever. The surest way to ruin a friendship with an empath is to continue lying to them. It’s just sad really because there is no point and it has been really painful for me personally. I have had to look into the eyes of a close friend and see the hesitation for a split second and I literally felt the lie as it slipped over my skin. I can’t explain it and I don’t want to. It is one of my most uncomfortable traits to not be able to turn off.
3. Any national tragedy is unbearable…no matter how far away. I wrote a post after Sandy Hook Elementary School was in the news and to this day I can’t read about it. Period. I become the pain in a way I can’t explain to other people. Plus, I was also a teacher. I can’t “unfeel” so the less I know, the better.
4. They always look tired. I love everyone, I do. But stop asking me why I have dark circles under my eyes. They have been there my whole life. Many empaths get diagnosed with chronic fatigue because they don’t know how to shield themselves properly from energy vampires. This is a work in progress for many.
5. Healing often becomes their way of life. My friend called me the bridge the other night. I was like interesting. I am the bridge. I see what needs to be done and I just suggest it for others. Whether it is tests, home remedies, alternative methods, exercise, nutrition, or holistic therapy suggestions, I just see it. It is how I approached my own care and came up with my wellness program, and it is how I have helped hundreds of others. It is my job to bridge the gap between modern medicine and what needs to be done in your body.
6. They might get distracted easily and daydream. This is really true as I can feel some currents and go off on some other task. This is one of the reasons I have to stay organized as best I can.
7. Living a lie would be damn near impossible. If someone asks me to do something I don’t like…I find a way to procrastinate. However, the procrastination might just be my intuition saying you really have to tell them no. Likewise, when someone asks me to do anything at all like “covering up for them” or “lie for them” I have a hard time holding in my anger at this type of behavior.
8. No room for narcissism at all. I was asked to be in this group of people who were fawning all over someone. I thought I was going to lose my shit on all of them because the guy shows how much money he has, what he drives, how many people “love” him, and it is the biggest act I have ever seen. Things nobody has time for. THAT. My BS meter is way too high.
9. The love of animals is strong within us. Most empaths love their animals as if they are furry children and would do anything for them. Anything. So just know that if you don’t like our animals…we know and you won’t last long around us.
10. Empaths need laughter daily. We are connected to our bodies, sometimes. Mostly, we are in our heads. BUT you can help us by asking us to live in the moment with you. To laugh. To get out of the house if we are in hermit mood, because sometimes the world is too much for us to take. We need to remember what it’s like to be connected.
I can’t say that this is your friend…or you, but if you identify with all of these things, then yes, you probably know what it’s like to be an empath. I unfortunately mean what I say as I utter“I feel your pain.” I always appreciate my close friends understanding this of me and giving me the space to breathe and recharge.
About the author
Aimee Halpin is a former educator, mother, and fighter of obscure diseases (namely her own). She has been fighting invisible diseases for 17 years. She started her blog The Burned Hand to help others fight illness and still maintain hope. You can also find her on Facebook here.