The Struggles of Having an Outgoing Personality but an Anxious Mind

Outgoing people with anxious minds – or minds that overthink – tend to feel anxiety the most intensely, often because we don’t talk about it. And by “often” I mean never.

Our anxiety is a contrast to our big, bold personalities. Strangers would never guess it. We never know when to fight or flight, and our self-angst is maxed out. We are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything.

  1. On days when you’re feeling motivated to make a conscious effort to be social, you’ll make future plans. Unfortunately when that day comes, you might lack the energy and enthusiasm to follow through with them.
  2. We try to trick our brain by doing as many things as we can during the day so we can fall asleep at night – HAHA what were we thinking? This is our brain’s prime time to annoy us; it won’t miss this opportunity.
  3. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make it seem like there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be doing.
  4. You timidly hesitate when initiating hugs or handshakes, often resulting in those awkward extend-my-hand-or-open-my-arms-for-a-warm-embrace limbos. Also you risk someone not seeing your offering and being left hanging, which is a 10 on the painful humiliation scale.
  5. Although we are very bold and outgoing, sometimes even the smallest things can stress us out and override our nerves. Whether it’s picking up our dry cleaning, finishing a project for work or making a call to our doctor, just the thought of having to deal with it makes our minds race.
  6. There are a lot of rude people in this world, and if you have the misfortune of running into one, it’s not something you can easily drop, brush off and move past. It’s a massive setback in becoming the socially competent individual you strive to be.
  7. Dating is weird, because you’re smiling and laughing and talkative at dinner, and then you don’t want to answer their texts for four days, you just want to be left alone…
  8. You evolve into an inauthentic character who isn’t at all your natural self when in certain social gatherings. Maybe your voice pitch is made to sound high and excited, or you try to be more animated, but inside you’re cringing at this façade. Minus the times when the acting job is so good that you thoroughly impress yourself.
  9. We’re kind of a conundrum because we love people and need to be surrounded by people to be happy, but our over-thinking and our apprehension to immediately trust someone is, in fact, what makes us very selective about who we surround ourselves with.
  10. Not to mention the fact that you either have days in which you’re tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or you delete your accounts for a month.
  11. You become unintentionally awkward because you at once feel the need to be a social life jacket for other people, though you’re just as uncomfortable yourself.
  12. We can still find it easy to talk and connect with people – we can be charming creatures and when we do choose to grace a party with our presence, we are the life of it.
  13. But then we wake up in the morning and of course, we are over-thinking everything – Ahhh what did I say to that one person? Did I talk too much? And what did they mean by “I’ll see you soon?” What does “soon” even mean? Like soon soon? Or “soon”?

via The Open Mind



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