There are many different, beautiful and unique personality types among the wide assortment of people in the world. Each person has received a unique education, has this own unique values, beliefs habits and preferences.
Some people thrive on being around others and being in the spotlight, while some find peace and happiness in in quietude. There are often misconceptions and stereotypes related to people who prefer to spend their time alone. Many labels such as shy, a lack of confidence or an inability to handle confrontation are incorrectly put on those who prefer to be alone. According to Psychology Today, these stereotypes couldn’t be further from the truth. ‘Loners’ and introverts actually possess a great deal of strength, confidence, and understanding of themselves. They know what they want in life, assume responsibility over their lives, don’t rely on others to get what they want and they aren’t willing to waste time on anything that doesn’t serve their higher purpose.
As author and social psychologist, Bella DePaulo explains: “They do not have a particularly strong need to belong. And they are less likely to be lonely or to be depressed. Put all that together with tier openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, and low levels of neuroticism, and people who are unafraid of being single look totally badass.”
People Who Prefer To Be Alone Have These 21 Unique Personality Traits
1. They Possess Incredible Emotional Strength
After spending time reflecting on their own thoughts and feelings, people who prefer to be alone develop a high level of emotional intelligence as they are able to accept, identify and understand their emotions. This empowers them to understand and to be able to deal with their feelings, managing their emotions in even the most trying of situations. There is a strength and a sense of peace about them that others tend to admire.
2. They Are Natural Empaths
After developing and growing their own emotional intelligence, people who prefer to be alone are also able to be more in touch with the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the people around them. Many people spend their days unaware of their own feelings; having rash emotional reactions and often unintentionally hurting the people around them. Those who spend time alone understanding their emotional states are highly aware of how their feelings and emotional reactions affect others, and tend to be kinder and gentler individuals.
3. They Are Open-Minded
Contrary to popular belief, those that enjoy spending time alone don’t close themselves off from the world around them. They just tend to focus on the positive in order to maintain a positive mindset, and in the stress-filled and fast-paced world we live in, solitude is often the best place where one can focus on their own intentions. They still love new experiences, enjoyable conversations and good times just as much as the social butterflies, they just choose to do so at their own pace and in their own time.
4. They Have A Strong Moral Compass
People who prefer to spend time alone often have a very clear idea of what they consider to be right and wrong in life. Through understanding their own feelings and knowing what makes them feel better or feel worse, they are able to genuinely think through and understand any situation that they find themselves in. They tend to be compassionate towards others, and set their moral compasses in the direction of; if it is for the good of all people, not just themselves.
5. They Don’t Need Approval
Peer acceptance is not important to them as they embrace and accept themselves completely; the good, the ‘bad’ and everything in between. They know that their self worth and value is not determined by their popularity nor by the opinions of others. They love themselves no matter what.
6. They Admit Their Imperfections
Loners aren’t worried about trying to create a pretend and perfect appearance for the people around them. They value being real and genuine above how others perceive them, as they’ve learned that this is the only way maintain a high level of healthy self-esteem. In fact, they are comfortable in admitting their mistakes and how they learned from them, as they know acknowledging imperfections is a very necessary and important step towards personal growth.
7. They Prefer the Company Of Other Intellectuals
They do not waste their time engaging in small talk but prefer deep and meaningful conversations. They enjoy spending time with positive minded intellectuals who help them grow by sharing new ideas and also by positively challenging their views.
8. They Value Their Time
People who prefer to spend time on their own understand just how valuable time is, something overlooked by most. They respect and value the time of others as well by showing up on time, and making the most of the time they spend with others.
9. They Have A Strong Sense Of Intuition
Be it intuition or just a highly developed awareness of the body’s emotions, instincts and ‘gut feelings,’ those who prefer to be alone are aware of situations on another, deeper level, and tend to gravitate towards positive environments and stay away from negative ones.
10. They Are Some Of The Most Loyal People You’ll Find
Just because someone prefers to be alone, that doesn’t mean that they don’t see the value of friendship. Those who prefer to be alone tend to be more selective about who they spend time with, and once they’ve chosen someone, they are very loyal to them. They place high value on the people they’ve become close with, and will do anything to help a friend in need.
11. They Are Independent
Those who value their alone time dislike being dependent on others and understand that happiness is a result of their own decisions and their own actions. They prefer to be self-sustaining and do not need other people to do everything for them, but they often do really enjoy the company of friends and family.
12. They Have Strong, Well Thought-Out Opinions Of The World
A fruit of spending so much time alone and in self-reflection is that they’ve learned to do their own research on many topics and situations related to the world and to life. They prefer to base their opinions on facts and science, and they choose not to listen to the emotionally inflated voices of TV personalities who more often than not have no idea what they are talking about. They listen to their hearts and if an opinion agrees with the principles of love, then they tend to support it.
13. They Are Incredibly Self-Aware
Many people in life allow their minds to be overrun by the busy, frantic and worried thoughts of their day, and also by the opinions of the people around them. Those who prefer to be alone, however, are able to consciously choose to relax their feelings, and to relax their minds. This gives them an inner sense of peace that only comes from those who have developed high levels of self-awareness.
14. They Radiate Kindness And Compassion
By reflecting on the world around them and being in tune with the emotions of others, they are able to clearly see and and feel the needs of others, and they have compassion for them. They conserve their energy in times of solitude, and choose to use their energy when it gives value to another person’s life; often giving money to the homeless, sharing a smile with someone who seems to be feeling down, or even by buying a coffee for the person behind them in line at a cafe. Their emotional mastery has allowed them to choose love as their dominant feeling, and love and gentleness radiate from them in all that they do.
15. They Respect Healthy Boundaries
Those who prefer to be alone know the value of healthy boundaries and will always respect the boundaries of others. They value healthy relationships and healthy communication, and are sensitive to the needs of others.
16. They Are Brave
These people aren’t afraid to stand up for what is right, even if they stand alone in the world. Once they’ve set their hearts on something, or realize that they need to help someone, it’s their second nature to show courage and to help protect those who are less fortunate than themselves.
17. They Are Balanced
They are focused, calm, rational and rarely overwhelmed while dealing with problems or even a crisis. They never jump to conclusions or make rash actions, but spend well thought-out time deciding the best course of action.
18. They Understand The Importance Of Self Love
It is arguably the highest practice of the emotionally intelligent: the practice of consciously feeling love for one’s self, and also for others. Self love is necessary to find true happiness, to feel good enough and to form happy and healthy relationships. Before you can genuinely love others, you must first learn to love yourself. They take the time to get to know themselves, practice daily self-acceptance of all of their feelings; happiness, sadness, joy, anger, fear, worry and peace. Being able to give themselves the love that all humans so deeply crave gives them a profound independence in many areas of life.
19. They Seek Meaningful Romantic Relationships
Unafraid of being alone or single, they only pursue romantic relationships that they know will help them either grow as a person or grow spiritually. They have a strong idea about who they’re looking for, and they’re willing to wait until they find this special someone.
20. They Know Their Strengths And Weaknesses
They do not underestimate or exaggerate their flaws or virtues. Their high level of self-acceptance makes them comfortable with all aspects of themselves, and they use everything they know about themselves to learn and to grow as a person.
21. You Can Count On Them
Their caring hearts are sure to be there for you in your time of need. Loyalty and love are two of their incredible personality traits, and if they say they will do something, you can be sure it will get done to the best of their ability, and they won’t let you down.
Enjoy the peace in solitude. Enjoy the rest of having a still mind.
Originally published on Understanding Compassion website.